Let’s talk Dads
How to use this guide
This guide contains several questions that you can choose from when hosting a #globalguytalk for dads. They have been divided into different categories. Decide which questions you will answer and in which order. Choose questions based on what is most suitable for the target group and the local context.
INTRODUCTION
‘I’ve always been scared of being a father. Scared of doing the wrong thing, not being good enough. It wasn’t until one of my friends who just had his first child mentioned that he was scared that I realised I wasn’t alone. He had grown up without a dad himself, and he didn’t really know what makes a good dad. Even though I grew up with my dad, I felt the exact same way.’
‘I’ve never had the courage to talk to my dad about our relationship. In many ways, he’s been the world’s best dad. Took me to soccer practice, helped me fix my bike, put up shelves, and stuff like that. But he never really talked to me. I mean, he never really seemed to care about how I was doing and never suggested that we just hang out. It feels quite sad. After joining #globalguytalk, I’ve heard similar stories and that other people have managed to find the courage to start talking with their dads. It really made me hopeful that I will one day.’
‘“I love you” – three words I never got to hear from my dad, not even as a child. I can easily count the times he hugged me. That was just the way it was. And I didn’t have any friends with loving fathers, so I had no one to compare mine with either. As an adult, I’ve come to think more about my father’s total lack of affection towards me and my siblings. From what I can remember, he spent a lot of time with us, and perhaps he tried, in his own peculiar way, to show us his love. Right before my daughter was born, I decided to become the exact opposite of my father. I promised myself to shower her with as much love and affection as possible and to tell her that I love her every day. A year and a half has passed since, and I’ve kept my promise.’
These are just a few of all the stories we’ve received from anonymous men when we asked: ‘What would you like to talk about, if no one could judge you?’. We hope these stories can inspire you to open up and speak from the heart during the #globalguytalk. With this guide, you will get to talk about parenthood. You will talk about society’s expectations and your own experiences of being a son, brother, partner, or father. You will also address your relationship with your own father or father figures.
The questions in the #globalguytalk for dads exceed what you usually have time for in one #globalguytalk session. Make sure you split the questions into one or two themes per session.
Warm-up questions – answer yes or no
- I think that my partner/the parent of my child/children has a stronger connection to our child/children, and I envy that.
- As a child, I sought comfort from my mother or other female family members more often than from my father.
- Today, I can talk with my father about almost everything – or at least as much as with my other parent.
- Being a parent turned out to be just like I imagined.