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Vulnerability

How to use this guide

This guide contains several questionson the topic of vulnerability that you can choose from when hosting a #globalguytalk. They have been divided into different categories: decide which questions you will answer and in which order. Choose questions based on what is most suitable for the target group and the local context.

INTRODUCTION

Why is it so hard for me to cry in front of my friends? A while ago, when things were tough with my partner, I needed to talk to someone. I asked a friend if he wanted to meet up. When we did, I still found it uncomfortable to tell him that I felt down and wanted advice. I tried to avoid the topic for as long as I could. When I finally opened up, my tears were met with support and a hug. I think back on all the times that I didn’t tell friends that I felt down. To get support or help, I have to open up to others about how I feel. But at the same time, it’s difficult to show them that I’m sad. This probably has something to do with the expectations of being a man. First, it doesn’t feel as difficult to open up to my female friends. Second, for as long as I can remember, I have been told to be strong, told not to cry or show vulnerability, and to be a “real man”. I think it has had a bigger impact on me than I first realised. It’s a shame really. Sometimes I’m angry that I haven’t had access to it before.

This story shows you how you can open up and speak from the heart when joining the #globalguytalk. The topics in this guide are: feelings, fears, and how to handle them. You can discuss what it’s like to be vulnerable and how to be strong enough to ask for help.

Warm-up statements – answer yes or no

  • I’ve heard ‘be a man’, ‘man up’, or ‘are you a man or a mouse?’ when I’ve shown fear or been upset.
  • It’s hard to be sad around other men.
  • The person I am with my friends is different from who I am with my family.
  • I can be vulnerable in front of people I don’t know.
  • If I watch a sad movie with a guy friend, I can cry without feeling ashamed.